The moment I decided to become a massage practitioner was during an embodiment workshop, 12 years ago.

The instructor had us touch our partner’s spine, so they could feel the length of it. After the exercise, my partner (an older woman) turned to me and said, “That’s the first time I’ve been touched in a long time.”

It pierced my heart like an arrow.

Everything in me rang out - that shouldn’t be so! I bought a massage table the next week, and starting offering free massages to this woman, and to any of my friends who lived alone, or in partnerships/marriages where their need for loving and nurturing touch wasn’t being met.

At that time, I thought I was just doing this for my friends, following a deep desire to try to heal one of the holes left in the world as our culture moves further away from our roots of living in connected community.

What ended up happening at the same time was that I found my way more deeply back into my own body, and learned to align my energy systems, as I learned to align my friends. I had freedom to follow where the energy wanted to move in the body, which allowed learning from the inside out. I had freedom to create my own style, combining the most effective elements of the embodiment practices, physical therapies, and healing modalities that I was using to help heal myself.

My personal history is peppered with trauma, abuse, and mental illness. There was good stuff, too, but the conditions for growing up as a fully intact and functioning adult weren’t quite met. The way my system kept me as intact as possible was through dissociation - disconnecting from the body so that the mind and soul could wait for the time when it was safe to come forward again.

I know what it feels like to be so disconnected from the body that you don’t even realize how tight and knotted up it is, and to be hounded internally by a mind that is self-critical and harsh. For a long time, I didn’t know there was another way to experience life. I just thought it was normal.

I’ve done my work, and the unfolding process continues.

I’ve healed my way back from a whole bunch of crapola, into a person who is (mostly) well-regulated, compassionate, and deeply nurturing. It’s taken me a couple of decades, but I can honestly say - I’ve come out the other side, and am living a life full of love and warmth for myself and others.

Yay!

And that’s what I’m bringing to the room when you come for a session.

Deep listening from a place of cultivated stillness.

I know how to listen to your body, even if your body is confused, upset, or in pain. I won’t tell it what to do, but listen to what it says it needs. (and what your body needs isn’t always what your mind says it needs)

Together we’ll find the quality of touch and the amount of pressure your body needs to be able to return to relaxed and regulated, and to feel nurtured and held in safety.

This is not a one-size-fits-all approach.

This is a way to listen deeply and hear what your whole being needs in that moment.

Because this is the way we really heal.

Your body needs to be deeply listened to.
It knows when it’s in the company of someone who is deeply listening, and focused on it with embodied presence.

It knows when there’s someone there who is keeping vigil, and then it can truly relax and let go.
Humans are tribal, and we aren't meant to heal alone.

It’s like a herd of wild horses.

While some of the horses sleep, others stand and keep watch.
The ones who are sleeping know they can lay down and rest - a position of great vulnerability for an animal that has an awkward time going from lying down to ready to run. There is always one keeping watch for predators, who will alert them if they need to flee, so they don’t need to keep that constant vigilance themselves.
Our bodies are like that, too.

Like horses, we reach a deeper state of calm and full body relaxation when there is someone present who is looking out for us, who is taking care of us by holding space for us.

That’s me.

I’m there looking out for you, listening to what your body needs, and following how your energy wants to move.

I hold vigil, so you can deeply rest.

When you come in for your massage, you can talk about what’s going on for you, speaking what needs witnessed into the space. I will listen, offering no advice. Sometimes talking a bit first is like peeling the first few layers of tension off, which allows the mind to start to slow before you even get on the table.

You might prefer to come in and not talk at all, just laying down and sinking into silence.

I will be silent, too.

You can ask me to share what I notice about your energy, or what messages I might hear from your body, and I will.

And you may not want to hear any of that. I deeply respect that, and will stay silent.

Some people come in and sleep through the whole thing, and I think it’s incredibly restorative.

Some people need to speak what comes up for them on the table, or make sounds, or cry. I hold space for that, and just go with your flow and follow your lead on what you need in the moment. No fuss, just deep, quiet companionship.

I’ve learned to trust the process as it rolls out, and to midwife what’s emerging in the moment.
This style of accompaniment, and deep listening for the unmet needs behind the pain and restriction, is called Resonant Healing.
I can do this silently with your body.
And it can be incredibly helpful to work together, talking out loud, so that the body can verbalize its experience.

My massage style might be a good fit for you if:

• You care for and nurture others, but your cup doesn’t quite get filled in return .

• You’re open to the idea that your physical symptoms may have energetic, emotional, and/or ancestral roots.

• You may be working with a therapist, counsellor, or somatic practitioner ,
  and you’re looking to support that deep process.

• You are actively recovering from the slings and arrows of your own history, including recent history,
  and want support on that journey.

• You get it that your body may need a variety of pressures and qualities of touch - sometimes determined pressure, but also sometimes rocking the bones, tapping the muscles, or holding still so the energy has a chance to realign itself.

• Your Love Language is physical touch and you’re just not getting enough nurturing touch in your life.

My massage style probably won’t be a good fit for you if:

• you are looking for sustained deep tissue massage

• you prefer the medical model approach to massage, without the woo woo

What’s my space like?

My massage space is in my home in Cumberland, and I work to make sure that my home feels calm and serene, clean and spacious for you.

We don’t cook food on the days I see clients, so that there are no lingering food smells.

We use natural cleaning products, and unscented laundry detergents, so that there are no lingering chemicals in the house.

Our yard is an eco-system created for diversity of urban wild-life. Our trees and shrubs create a cozy surround, and you’ll see a variety of birds, bees, and sometimes bunnies.